So I would recommend playing the less demanding job between the two. Honestly, I always hated DPSing as a healer in dungeons because switching to/from clerics was always a risk specially with a tank I didn't know
I always hated DPSing as a healer in dungeons
How bad are those latency issues? I think the main reason for your anxiety is because of dodging problem due to latency. I used to experiment bad lag a bit later after the game launched and I understand how not knowing if you are going to dodge something or not can be stressful. I was a WHM at the time and while I don't get the bad lag I used to before, I learned to play with it and just go on about it when I do get lag. I don't get stressed anymore. It's just about feeling confident on the job you are playing.
So I would recommend playing the less demanding job between the two. Honestly, I always hated DPSing as a healer in dungeons because switching to/from clerics was always a risk specially with a tank I didn't know. I'm also part of those who think that I'm playing healer to heal, not DPS and that that's why I have DPS jobs leveled.Eventually I learned to tolerate it for progression and don't mind it so much now, mainly because I feel confident about playing healer (and I think Astro had something to do with it) and because I just want to get the content over with as fast as possible.
So first, I think you should try everything in your power to improve your latency, WTFast is a good choice to aleviate the problem, sometimes when I do get lag I use it, too and it improves it by a tiny percent but the change in lagspikes is obvious, so even though I think WTFast isn't as good as what it used to be before, it works for me. However, it seems your lag problem is more intense so idk if WTFast would be the best choice.
Second, I would recommend choosing the less demanding between the two of them, which in my opinion, would be WHM. Keep doing dungeons, practice in these dungeons, the 50-60 quests are good place to practice too, practice your dodging+healing in fates, with say your chocobo as a tank. I'd say start small first so you control your anxiety. You won't get nervous when you are solo. Dungeons get more tricky because now you interact with people who you are responsible for to keep alive, so if you got some available friends you can level up with, the more relaxed you'll feel. If this is not possible, I recommend only focusing on healing while you are doing dungeons first (no dpsing), then when you feel ok with this, start DPSing without cleric's on so as to not deviate your attention so much from switching stances. Then when you feel ok with this, you can start practicing with cleric's on. This is how I did it back then, starting to go farther and farther my comfort zone once I felt confident enough on each step. Maybe it can help you.
If however, you like SCH that much then it might be good to just start practicing with the job you like already instead of later. I said WHM is less demanding the way I saw it back then but lately there's been fights where the SCH is required to DPS more that the other healer kinda has more responsability as a main healer, to the point of solo healing, so this could be stressing, too, but it does give more room for error with the insta heal abilities and the healing potency.
Either way you'll have to learn to dodge+doing something anyways and since you are playing healer, might as well start on the healing+dodge aspect first before worrying about the DPS and on this issue, it really doesn't matter what job you choose.
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